Embrace the Loud

Photo by Crystl

Some­days it’s noisy.  Not just the rum­bling from the street below.  Not just the noise from the TV or from my neigh­bors.  But from inside me…my mind.  The sen­tences start and stop. Mov­ing from one idea to another. Noth­ing quite fully formed. Noth­ing developed…just skip­ping around.  It makes it hard to con­cen­trate on the task at hand.  It makes get­ting the word out impos­si­ble, because there is no longer just one word. There are many and yet when strung together they make no sense at all.  It’s just loud.

It’s an unset­tled feeling…when the sounds from the inside are sud­denly as dis­tract­ing as those from the out­side.  When we want to cre­ate from the mag­i­cal cave of won­ders that live inside…but the sta­tic blurs the pas­sage­way.  For me, I want to shut it all out…get back to the quiet space within.  I want it to change it.  I want the silence.  But I don’t seem to want to do a damn thing to quiet any space.

So I do the oppo­site. I make it louder.  Wilder. Brighter.  I turn the music on.  I open up a mil­lion doc­u­ments and write the start­ing para­graph to every post I could think of.  I start and stop and start and stop.  And it works…almost every time. The “this” and “that”  in my head stop their con­stant jib­ber jab­ber.  I stop pre­tend­ing that I can con­trol the quiet and embrace the loud.  I let the noise inspire me. Move through me.  And in that it, the noisy part of me is expressed…just as deserves to be.

The parts of us that are not quite as coop­er­a­tive with what we deem the mas­ter plan still deserve the right to be. They still deserve to share them­selves and speak their peace.  It’s not always pretty.   Or even that pro­duc­tive.  But fight­ing those expe­ri­ences don’t allow for a clear­ing.  The noise is still within us…unexpressed and antsy.

Wel­come in the resis­tance.  Flood your­self with it.  Play with it.  Let your­self know that you will turn the resis­tance into a your cre­ative expe­ri­ence no mat­ter what.  Embrace the noise and see what magic is made.